A post sealed with a kiss.

I thought I could handle anything that would come in my way. I thought I could withstand the pain that would pierce through my heart. I thought I could control my feelings when things came crushing down my world, my world with just you and me.

When I looked at the diamond ring that cost you more than your monthly salary. I decided that it should be worn on the another finger instead on the forth. The time that I squeezed it through my middle finger, I decided that I would not bother if you ignored me. Decided I would be stronger and not shed a tear, at least not infront of you.

When I heard the clinking of your keys, I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I knew what to expect and then you were right up infront of me. My watery eyes almost gave me away....

I was to blame for being so direct and yet not knowing what wrong I have done that has caused a cold war beween us for 3 freaking days. Even after a few days I was still stubborn as I always am. It was your dinner time, I had to pissed you off with wierd questions. I really didn't want you to go. I was right when I said the last time we watched a movie together was a month ago. I had enough edvidence to prove.

Your part time job, your work stress... its has all taken its toll over you. You flared up and there goes nothing. The wet salty water that flowed down like a river...

I hated to see you go - without me. That was the worst scenario because it feels like I'm wasting a night of my weekend. I had only two full night to spend with you but I guess it doesn't really bother you. (Then I really felt like if only we could be Bella and Edward Cullen - crap!)

I addressed you like how I usually do - 'Dear'. I was delighted when you turn, but you apporached me and faced me with full of anger. I knew that was a bad move but I had to try. As much as am was lost for words, trying to delay as much time as I could. I finally spit the words - "Are you gonna hug me before you go ? ".

He didn't want to come on the bed so I hestitaed for a while and decided this was the time. Even if I had to throw my face and stepped on it a hundred million times I would do so... I would give my all just to be in his arms.

Finally, what im longing for to be in his arms... my heart gave way another time. I broke down in his arms and said "You dont love me anymore." . I was comparing to what I've read through in his blog that he wrote long before. His post has been my bed time story... he would tell me how he couldn't leave w/o me, how he wanna succeed in life so he could give me a good life... Comparing to now, it feels like he didn't care at all, like he didn't love me anymore.

I bet he was thinking why I'm so silly. I felt him hugging me tighter and patted my head. At that moment, my eyes were blurred with tears but I could see the smile that painted on his face. It wasn't a smile I would have expect but he told me "Don't cry, its not any big quarrel, I still love you".. and there it goes.... a kiss on my forehead.

Once again, I had to surrender to my weak heart.