I thought maybe I could play some games and keep myself from thinking so much but 02jam doesn't help at all.In fact I'm missing all the keys and I am so so so pissed with the people in there not wanting to change the bloody song.FUCK YOU JAMMERS.

My eyes is so so so itchy but yet I can't rub it cos the side of my eyes is hurting like fuck.I don't know whats wrong,i hope its not style but its been so painful since yesterday...

I think I wna go over to his house at 5.30am maybe ? I think he's asleep already and afraid he might wake up if I open the door zzzzz I just wna see him so badly but I don't want him to know that I'm there cos I won't know what to do under that type of situation,like what am I suppose to say when I see him or what should I do when I see him ? Run out of the house or run to the toilet and lock myself up inside ? zzzzzz Sounds so scary...but why....I dont dare to face him ? zzzz.

I don't like this.It feels like we're back to last time where he would be emoing due to the stress he has from work(KM8) and bout his parents and financial etc..basically all the problems people would encounter.I don't like that period of time where he would drink till he drop and smoke packets of cigg a day and have irregular sleeping time.Thank God he's not doing this...at least he is sleeping now becos he has to adjust his time to his army time becos he's going back camp tonight.

He might not be smoking many packets of ciggs but I bet he already smoked 2 packets for this 2 days and I know he has been sleeping and I guess he drank a few cans of beer.Well,I hope those few cans of beer could make him feel much better.

This may be the last time I'll be stepping into his house,(20% only,HAHAHA) besides taking my stuffs back aft the break up.JUST PRAY AND HOPE THIS ISN'T ANOTHER BREAK UP cos I'll be so screwed up without him.Especially when exams are around the corner and I want his encouraging sms'es.

I just want everything to be settled before Thursday cos I wna concentrate on my exams.I don't wna but both of this issues together cos it'll be so hard for me to concentrate in class.Those big bubbles will pop above my head and I'll be spending all of my time day dreaming in class.. I dont wna let down so many people.My boyfriend,my mother,my beloved sisters,Auntie Pam,Auntie Jan,Auntie Yvonne and lastly my father..

Of all the post that I've blogged yesterday and today,I feel this is the best post and also one of the last post for the morning...I've not put all my emotions into this post becos there are somethings that I find it so hard to express it.Even if my English would to be perfect,still deep inside there is this feeling that no word can explain..sighs..w/e this r/s is gna be,I would still hang on to the very last moment..i love you.