Its darling's birthday today and he is 19 already(he don't act like one though) Lols.

Had a small small small celebration at my house with my family just now.It was meant to be a surprise but that clever boy always know whats going on.So....he actually knew there was a birthday cake waiting for him =.= Didn't take alot of pictures (will upload it soon)

Anyways,dear.I wish you'd stop doing so many silly things already becos you're a year older already.Andddd anddd anddddd,HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY,with lots and lots of love and kisses and hugs,Skully.

All our problems are still unsolved I guess,they will and never be.Or should I say it can't be solved.
Things just gets messier and messier.Wait,whats a word more extreme than messy ?

As I promised,here are 3 pictures.Actually there are more but heeeeeeee,be back to see more =D

I can't imagine how fast the days are passing,about 2 weeks to CNY and 24 more days to me and Daryl's One year Anni..The days are passing that fast,my God.

Ohhhh and,my luck was so good yesterday.Played mahjong and dear is sucha nuisance man,can't stand him.He even got angry becos I "pong" and "kang" his winning cards.Lol,but everything is fine now.Caught him kissing my forehead last night while I was sleeping yesterday and he kepy denying this afternoon lol.

For the whole of yesterday,I kept grumbling becos I didn't get to buy my Taiwan Sausage and Seeweed chicken at the pasar malum.This afternoon,while me and darling was at the pasar malum getting my Taiwan Sausage,we saw 2 familiar faces,my two elder sister.LOL.They wanted to give me a surprise(by buying the taiwan sausage).So sweet of them to come all the way to buy me my sausage.heeeee =D Im so loved ! Then we had lunch together.

I'm going cycling tmr with my sisters.Andddddd,I promise I'll post some pictures by this Sunday since my entries has been like worddddds and nothing else OK,gonna go now and watch show with Prince =DDDD

Dear has been complaining about my "dead" blog which I don't think it is dead yet becos there are still people tagging.Maybe just a short update becos nothing much happen recently.

Everything is fine.School,r/s,daryl,friendship- everything is just going so well.

Just that my school female DM really sucks,their rules are just like KR.Shes exactly like Mr Koh SL,just that shes a lil' stricter.She insisted I buy a new school skirt becos its not of the right length (as always). She could have given me another chance becos I'm only a one month old student in YYSS ( Excuse >.< ) but bloody idiot man,had to waste 12 bucks on a new skirt,guess I'm not gonna alter it becos shes so gonna catch me again,its like a cycle ='(

Actually,I didn't intend to stay over at darling's house during weekdays but becos he is still here(at home),why not just spend my days with him becos I know I'm gonna regret not doing so ( You'll know why soon).

Just like what I told him,he hasn't change at all..Not a bit,becos right from the start he was who he was and vice verse.Just that we both did not see each other's flaws.We should have known each other better before falling so deep and for now,I jsut have to accept him for who he is.
I can't hate him for being messy,being untidy,being everything that I hate but love is that great.

Oh and,Grats to myself on my new maple lvl =D Lvl 50 after a thousand years !

I'm actually surprised that I can cope with my maths,tried the N lvl questions today and its like chicken feet lol Lets see my results for my N. If I'm gonna fail my maths,its gonna be because of all my careless mistakes. The girl who sits behind me has been coaching me in Maths,I turn to her whenever I need help,I find her quite a nice girl(of cos she is),helpful also.

Hmm what else ? Maple~ Maple ~ Maple ~ I don't want to stop playing it because that is the only thing that keeps our friendship(me & star) going.I don't know,I just feel that without maple we wouldn't be contacting each other so often.Btw,I'm lvl 46 alr ^^ Skully never went that far before =D

I'm missing home alr,maybe its my sisters that I miss.Just one day(not even one day,its only half a day) of staying here(dear's house) makes me miss my sisters more.Too used to them alr,
been spending every afternoon with them.Watch tv,chat,eat,we do almost everything together.
='( I wna go home but darling is booking out,ROAR !

And one of my longest extension came off again,lol.Freaked out when the hair dropped on to my foot while I was combing my hair..Even my real long hair came off tgt with the extensions.I can imagine how short my hair would be after I take all all my extentions *whines !

Been wondering for days,how much one could actually change themself so quickly.Like in a blink of eye,I see a new him,a changed him,a once-a-horrible-guy to a oh-so-wonderful guy.I really do see the changes in him and I'm feeling like a Princess again.Lost my tiara once and its back on skully's small lil' head again ~

Does he actually know how it feels like to be me ? Hmmm,been asking myself so many redundant qns like what if I treat him the way he used to treat me - I won't bear to. Though he deserves all those shits(that he used to give me),I still wouldn't climb over his head and of cos,
I'll avoid stepping on his tail too.

I don't wna let myself get soften by his actions,words etc.And darling,I hope you don't climb over my head also.Chances are there for you,now that you've grabbed it,hold onto it tightly...
and never it slip off again ok ?


~I'll never let you go if you promise you'll never fade away.

Its been a long time since I've updated,speak my thoughts and so on..

Well,I'm too lazy to blog now,maybe I'll just keep my blog alive with pictures =D

Just the silly us.

Becos its the 14th(11monthsary) today,thats why I'm updating now.Now that school has started,I don't have that much time to blog becos my days are packed with many things like homeworks,deadlines and so on.With maple and boyfriend,I'm as busy as a bumble bee man.

So just a quick update and I'm gonna go do my homework.

Bout my r/s life,me and daryl has patched and work things out.For now,everything is going fine between the both of us.I see so much changes in him,maybe this is just the beginning =x
I just hope he keep it up and I really want himto treasure this very last chance.

Mummy bought me a new phone and its damn nice,at least to me.I think its a new model,Samsung F330(shld be).I love it alot.She got me my laptop bag from The Wallet Shop too ! =D

As for school,there is so much to do in F&N.This year is gonna pass by faster than I am gonna expect it to be becos of the N lvl.The datelines are freaking me out man,like damn fucking scary can..

Shall update tmr or other days,gonna do my F&N now,MEOW !

Schools getting boring each day,I don't feel the urge of going to school anymore.BUT,I still know whats the importance of going to school and what comes first.I know why I'm in school for,to study =D

Lessons in this school are boring,had F&N today,the teacher may be funny but God,I don't like the way she teach,her method and everything =.= I miss Ms Png now zzzz.English lesson was worse,I miscounted my words and he sort of doubt my English.ZZZZZ!

He got a little worried for me I guess ? Hmmm,maybe worried is not the word to use but he msged me asking me how's school coming along.Was a little surprise to receive his msg,thought which idiot so free to msg me at that time.

Well,I'm already starting to get used to this life I'm living.Coming home everyday and start mapling,I'm lvl 40 already =D First time in my whole life,it isn't as hard as I thought it was.
Maybe becos of some encouragement and the Guild that likes to joke.

I guess I know why I'm not feeling so sad like I used to,maybe becos I ended it off with a good note,we're still friends and still contacting.Ya,maybe life is getting better for me zzzzz

Yesterday I went to pack all my stuffs,actually thought of taking his pillow but on second thought,I didn't need anything more to remind me of him.He texted me and told me I could take anything I want,even his precious pillow I used to hug each night.He actually allowed me to take something that he doesn't share with anyone,I wished I really understood what he meant by that.




~ The pain never goes away,
~ We just get used to it.

It feels so wierd,the feeling.I don't know how to express it out,in fact I don't even know how I'm feeling now.

Like I feel the world is so beautiful now yet on the other hand,the world seems so dull without him..I don't know..sighs.

I'll remember our laughter as we go our seperate ways,theres so much to learn in life and we cannot be afraid.Theres a world outside our door and nothing in our way.But if its not what we're both looking for,we'll meet someday again.

I just can't stop thinking how much we used to be in love,I know I can't look back but thats what I'm left with,memories of you and me.

Maybe if I look away it won't hurt so much,if I don't remember how close you used to hold me like how you're so close to her now then my heart wont be breaking,maybe if you were still here holding me I wouldnt feel the small salt liquid on my face,maybe if you had meant when you said forever I wouldnt be here drowning in my own tears...wishing that I didn't have to look away.

I've figured it out.Its not you having not enough time to spend with me.Its the way you treat me.Even if you spend 1 hour with me and you're treating me good,I would still feel the world is so great.

Yes I still love you but I know time heals all wound so I'm gonna make a decision,I'm not gonna regret this and I really wanna thank the one who told you that God has something else good installed for us.So this is it,we're over.

You'll be my new friend,won't you ? Anyways,thanks for everything..for letting me know your mum,aunties and your helpful brother =D

I'm so dissappointed in you..

Was so shocked to receive a msg from Star this afternoon,she finally took the initiative to ask me out =D

Met her at Ecp around 9pm,didn't do much things but all I know is I enjoyed the whole night with her though all we did was talked..

She caught this cute lil shit at from the machine for me,we were screaming like mad becos we almost got it but it dropped soon after the thing moved..Decided on our last try,then we finally got it =D

Took a taxi back becos star couldn't stay out..It was really scary man.My heart was thumoing faster than the meter was jumping,so damn ridiculous man..but still worth it becos I get to see my lovely star for a lil longer =D

____________________________


Fuck you even if you're drunk.If I'm a mother-fucker,what makes you.A fucking bloody fucker.I don't care if you're tipsy or what,just fucking watch what you say.You may not love me that much or may not even love me at all but what gives you the fucking right to call me a cheebye kia,lanjiao kia,whatever kia you said.I JUST FUCKING HATE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID ! FUCK OFF MAN.

I know so many people out there are concern for me..Sorry if I'm not myself everyday becos I hate to put up a brave front becos I know,I'm always that soft,always that weak..I don't know what to reply,all I can say is,I'll let him go when its time..

If I'm gonna blame anyone or anything for making us like this,I would put all the blame on lappy,maybe his huge computer too.Its all becos of games..Maybe quarrels too but from what I see is that,without those quarrels,we would still be like that cos all we've been doing all this while is nothing but using the computer..

Tonight I wanna cry

Alone in this house again tonight

I've got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine

There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me

The way that it was and could have been surrounds me

I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control

But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain

To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain

From my eyes

Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if i turned the sad song on

"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now

that you're gone

Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better

But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control

But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain

To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain

From my eyesTonight I wanna cry

电话响起了 你要说话了

还以为你心里对我又想念了

真么你声音冷淡了

是你便了 是你便了。。

First day of school in my new school doesn't feel exactly good.Not familiar with all the new faces nor the environment,made a few new friends..Most of my classmates are friendly esp Sylvia.
A bubbly girl,happy-go-lucky kind of lady I can say. Hmm,what else ? Jolene don't believe that my bags are real,she thought it was fake =.=

School rules isn't very strict,or maybe I'm just too new to the school.The school uniform really sucks,white blouse white skirt,zzzzzzz ! I miss star so much and maybe miss kr too..zzzzz,esp some of the teachers like Mr KC Tan,Mr Heng..maybe Mr Koh too..

The chicken rice in the canteen is exactly the same as the one I love eating in my Primary school,awwww.Miss the innocent Jermaine..Always staring at couples thinking that getting in love was the greatest thing,today I know,Daddy I'm wrong..='(

I know I'm hanging on to something that would never be mine. Why ? Good things comes to those who waits - Screw myself man. Why am I so naive ? Fuck,take a knife and stab me now man..

Oh Fergie,you're so right,fairytales don't always have a happing ending -Big Girls Don't Cry.

I really need an answer,I don't wna run away from any more of this problems.Its hurting so much so that my heart feels like its been thrown down from the top of a high building.Beating rapidly yet hurting so much.My heart skips a beat everytime I think of it,like its gonna die off any time soon..

Seriously,if it doesn't concern her then why are we like that ? If I've fallen for another guy,do you still think I would love you so much like I used to ? No.

I don't know why I chose to forgive you the previous time,knowing that things wouldn't be better becos whats done is already done.You've fallen for her and thats a fact that we can't change.

You've made a mistake once,why won't you change ? But instead you're doing the whole same shit again.Why get me into so much shit AGAIN!? I don't need all this troubles,I've got enough troubles to worry of already.

I really need a hug so badly..I really wanna cry my heart out to someone but realised theres noone who actually knows how I feel..My sisters don't understands how I feel,Star doesn't want to step out of the house,moreover,there is school tmr.Auntie Pam has got enough troubles of her own,she would be heartbroken if she knows whats going on.

Really,I don't need this long break again.All I need is answers to my questions.Don't leave me hanging her on this thread that would snap anytime soon.Why do this to me when all I've ever done is love you like I've never love anyone before.

Screw love man,fucking feelings just gets on my nerves.Thinking of all this makes me go mad,feel like fucking kill him & myself now,cb.Mad enough right ?

Sighs,I don't know if I still have any feelings for him.I don't get it,really.If you would spend lesser time at Cindy's place then you wouldn't have fallen for her.Part of the reason why everything's so different is becos we've been spending so little time together.

You've been spending every weekend there drinking and then coming back the next day playing your computer.I swear all we ever did in this room is watch movies.What else ? How long since we've been out ?

I don't miss you at all,I miss us.Us that spends our time tgt doing plain nothing,us that stares into each others eyes knowing how much we loved each other,us that eats our meals together,us that spends time tgt with our family,us that does everything and anything together. Don't you miss us too ?

I really do miss every single bit of time we used to spend together..and all I've ever been missing all this while is the cheerful guy who makes me smile all day - Prettyboy. Where exactly have you been PB ?

God or whoever who can,pls save me from all this.Its really hurting so much..Just get this all done and for all,I don't want to be left in suspense..

Why is it her again ? Out of everything else we could blame on,why her ? If seeing Kasar with her hurts you so much,then how am I gonna describe how I feel ? It really hurts me more than anything else to know that you're actually giving me up becos of her.

I knew all this would be coming,
I'm gonna face it bravely.
Take it like its a nut but deep inside,
I know its gonna hurt like hell..
Well,this is what love is.

Have you ever been so tired of life ? I am. I just don't know why I've been so lazy or am I just tired of living this life ?

Beauty is the only thing I used to care for but now too lazy to even step out of the house,wtf.
What exactly have I been doing for this month ?.. sighs.

For the first few months of this year,I've been waking up with a smile on my face knowing everything in life would never go wrong becos I've got everything I wanted - family,boyfriend etc.. Been quite contended in life..

After a few months,lots of ups and downs.Troubles here and there,not only in my love life..
Been wanting so much to be a happy girl again like back then,but sometimes there is really too much to think..

Have been staying in darling's house for almost 9 months..So much happened,be it happy or sad moments.We've been through it all..

A few more hours,a new year ahead of me.So much more to think of,new school,new environment,new friends..I just don't want to lose my one and only best friend - star. She really mean alot to me,so God,pls don't take her away from me,thank you.

This has been a short year,just like the previous year but the days spent this year are so much more meaningful than last year.Though I've regretted somethings that I've done,somethings that really can't be changed,just like our love.Still,I thank God for giving me everything that I've always wanted..

New year,new dreams,new wishes,new resolutions ? I've got so little in mind becos all I'm gonna try to do is to study hard,get my N cert and then head for my O's and then hopefully get into Poly.Too early to talk bout it now,haha.Just wish me all the best in what I do and last but not least,everyone to be happy and healthy =DD Happy New Year.