I don't agree with what they say,the more I try to distract myself from my troubles by playing computer games,the more I think about my problems.I fucking died 8times in maple yesterday.

Now I know why they drink to drown their sorrows,really it works.But after the kick is gone,everything just comes back to you.Got wasted twice and I swear it's fucking horrible.Surprisingly,two bottles of martell couldn't make a bad drinker like me drunk.

I'm fucking sad becos I lost my fucking phone on my way back to the pub from macdonalds.Though I can get another phone and thats one of my wish hanged on the xmas tree, I don't want mummy to spend those type of money..sighs.

Just realised we three sisters got a little more closer already.I really love them more than anything or anyone else,Mummy too.Now I swear,nothing comes before them and them includes desmond and joel.


Though I still want to be with you badly,but how long more can we last if we both don't compromise and have a good talk.Until now I'm still making wild guesses about you and her.I don't know who exactly she is,but is she all you could ever ask for ?

And..is this time apart really for me to grow up ? Didn't you fall for me becos I'm who I am,you wouldn't love me if I'm that mature.

Are all guys the same ? I don't want to judge you now man..My heart really hurts when all they say is ; "Guys are jerks,they're all the same ! " I really doubt that sentence,becos theres one good man staying in my house.And I wish the second person is you.

Enough said,too worn out already..I'm gonna have a good sleep and probably wake up as a happy girl tmr..



; I think Im losing myself too - where have I gone to ?